The highway markers and exit signs glow green in the headlights as deep booms echo over the water, bursts of purple and yellow and red fade then bloom again all over the horizon as they barrel down Interstate 10. Darlene drums her fingers on the steering wheel, hums along with Patsy as fireworks explode overhead. Monkey watches the explosions fade on the windshield then sticks his head out, feels the night rush over him.

"Fourth of July," Darlene says flicking her cigarette as Monkey pulls his head in, looks back at Mara slumped over, her small head leaning on Pig, the reds and greens and blues lighting up her armor in soft shades of gold.

"I thought my life was fucked, but you..." Darlene gives Monkey a side-eye before looking back to the road. "We don't have to talk if you don't want." Takes a swig of Mountain Dew followed by another quick side-eye. "Do love me some Patsy though." Turns the knob on the radio and her fingers drum the wheel as she belts it out.

"I
fall
to pieces.
Each time someone speaks your name"

"Speaks your name!" Darlene yells with the chorus then laughs. "That was your part, right there," she says looking at Monkey. "See how the chorus says the last line again? Do that on the next one," then without missing a breath,

"I
fall
to pieces.
Time only adds to the flame"

"Time adds to the flame," Monkey says flatly.

"No, you fucked it up." A big one explodes overhead trailing down with gold shimmers. "So what's it like being immortal?" She turns the radio down. " I mean, what's it feel like?"

"It doesn't feel like anything," Monkey says digging in his bag of Taki's and popping a few in his mouth.

"Like, you don't have some magic tingle or nothin?"

"I don't fear death," Monkey offers.

"I don't fear dying either." She looks over at the bag and Monkey holds them out so she can take some. "Anything you afraid of?"

He looks out the window.

"Change. The lack of it."

She laughs.

"Shit, things are changing all the time. I mean, look at us. This morning I was brushing my teeth, getting ready for another day in paradise and now I'm on some godforsaken adventure with a semi-morose monkey." She looks over and smiles, pats him on the leg. "Don't worry. We'll find your monk."

Monkey leans his head against the window so he can feel the bumps in the road.

"When you live long enough, you see lots of change, but in the same kind of ways. Like, if I look down at the road, everything's rushing past and it feels like the world's changing right before my eyes, but then I look up, and there's the horizon, same as before."

"But all horizons are different," Darlene says digging in the bag of Taki's.

"Different in the same kind of ways."

She pops a few in her mouth.

"You ever see a shrink? I was court-ordered to see one once. Ended in a terrible 3 year relationship. Sure liked to talk about the problems he had with me. Wasn't a drinker. You'd be surprised the difference that makes." Looks over for some acknowledgment but Monkey's staring out the window. "Well, they say talking bout things is good, but I don't know. Sometimes it feels good, like you're getting it off your chest. Other times," she shivers, "like you're stewing in the most dIsgusting bath that feels good and bad at the same time. Know what I mean?" She lights a cigarette then without waiting for a response, "You ever had sex with a woman? I mean, a human woman?"

Monkey glares then softens.

"No."

"How bout a monkey woman?" He shakes his head. "Well, why the hell not? You're immortal and you're telling me you haven't once had sex?"

"I'm a monk."

"Oh, so you're not allowed to?"

"It's not that. I refrain...for my own sake." He thinks a moment. "Look at Pig. He's constantly chasing women and he's miserable. The more sex he has the more he wants and the less satisfied he is with what he has."

"Well, I don't know about all that. Maybe that says more about him than it does about, you know, fucking." She takes another drag. "You mean to tell me in all the thousand years you've been alive there hasn't been one lady in your life that you had feelings for?" Monkey's face hardens and he looks down at his hands. "Uh oh. Looks like I found a soft spot. C'mon, tell me about her. Ol' Darlene has her fair share of sob stories of unrequited love or rather requited love that turns into a big old hot mess that explodes in a whiskey-soaked ball of shit."

Monkey looks back at Pig and Mara to make sure they're asleep then over to Darlene, cigarette dangling, one arm out the window, the other clutching the wheel, foot pressed hard on the gas.

"It was after we fetched the scriptures. They called me Dòu-zhànshèng-fó back then. The Victorious Fighting Buddha. Monkey King. I have lots of names. Have you heard of me?" Darlene shakes her head. "I didn't think so. Most people don't know me here. That's fine. In China I'm everywhere. I was like a god, so when I'd go down to earth I'd assume different forms if I didn't want people to recognize me."

"Now don't tell me," Darlene interrupts. "You went to some small village disguised as a handsome man, met some poor farm girl and fell in love, but she didn't know you were a monkey and so one night you revealed yourself and she ran for the hills after seeing that hideous face of yours."

"No." Monkey pulls the Taki bag away from Darlene's hand. "Are you going to let me finish?" Monkey shifts in his seat. "I was fighting a demon that lived in the river. It used to be a benevolent dragon. Benevolent's the wrong word. It had this disfigured face that it blamed on the people of the town, and so one night it snuck down to their houses and ate their children."

"Wait. The dragon ate ALL the kids?"

"Not all. Look. I was going to explain that. Can you please just..." Darlene raises both hands in surrender. "So, the children were disappearing, and I came down and found the dragon and we fought for days. I chased it back to the river, followed it to it's palace deep underwater, and...I was feeling good. I was doing what I loved. I'd just attained Buddahood. I was so confident, so confident I let my guard down and when I leapt into the palace the dragon snuck up behind me and bit off a piece of my tail. I went into such a rage that I swung my cudgel as hard as I could and just as it was about to come down, the dragon changed into a young woman, and we looked at each other, and in that moment I knew this was someone...I don't know how to explain it, but in that brief second I felt like..." Monkey trails off, fishes another Taki out of the bag and pops it in his mouth. "Anyway. I swung with such force, I couldn't stop myself and I crushed her, looking up at me like that. I caved her head in." He looks down into the empty bag, the silver lining glowing with orange dust. "After that, I just didn't take pleasure in it anymore. The people loved me. Worshipped me. I just couldn't take it. So I left."

Darlene rolls the cigarette around in her mouth waiting to see if there's more, and then not being able to bear the silence, "Dang. I thought I had some screwed up love stories. So...that's it? You had one moment with a demon dragon before you killed her?" She takes another puff then flicks it out the window. "She ate kids!"

"Lots of things eat children. It's not uncommon where I come from."

Darlene shakes her head.

"Falling in love with a kid eater."

"That's not the important part of the story," Monkey says defensively.

"Guess I can't judge. Fell in love with this shit head when I was younger. Todd. Black leather jacket. Motorcycle. It was stupid. Hard when you're a teenager living so close to cliche, but...there was just this...I don't know how to describe it. Every cell of my being wanted to be with him, and I just couldn't control it. Anyway. I had a little sister. Samantha. Sam. Real tomboy. We were close for a time then I just abandoned her. She was a teenager when I split. Left her with mom. Ended up hanging herself in the girl's locker room of her high school. You know how girls are at that age." She grips the steering wheel with both hands. "Cruel." Her hands unclench. " I was too. Could be cause of my looks." Another side-eye to Monkey. "I was a looker if you can believe it. Would like to think I learned my lesson, but honestly, just got uglier. Lost my power, and all this living finally mellowed me out. Not sure I learned a damn thing."

"Is that what happened to you on September 3rd 1982?"

"Oh. No. I don't talk about that."

Darlene turns up the radio and starts humming as Monkey puts his head against the window and falls into a deep sleep. No dreams, no visions, nothing but the void, a soft heavy unending blackness, that ends abruptly with the sound of the pump clicking away, voices in the distance. He opens his eyes and it's bright out. Pig and Mara are out of the car, Darlene's still in the driver's seat. Monkey yawns, stretches his arms and gets out, leans against the door and looks out over another gas station.

By the highway
in a median of grass
a trailer
with a 12 foot chicken
strapped with orange tie-downs
stares at the frontage road
and behind it
a digital display
flashes
91 degrees
11:27 A.M.
then a scrolling
"Fried Chicken"
followed by
"U.S.A."
It stops in the middle and blinks
every bulb fills with light
then disintegrates to say
"Sugarfoot Convenience Store"
as a couple emerges
their screams
break through the buzz of traffic
that only pokes out
in the interruptions
of its constant
hum

A man, dressed like a basketball player, pushes the woman so hard her head hits the glass as the door flings open. He follows cursing as she flicks him off with a, "Fuck you Darrell." Darrell raises his hand pointing his finger at her, then, his finger is gone. He looks down as it rolls on the cement, settles next to a half-eaten Twinkie, then his hand is down there too. He looks up and a small girl is standing in front of him with a six-foot sword.

"Denise!" he screams, who jumps on the girl pulling her hair. Mara, using Denise's weight against her, rolls her off, gives her shove as she slams back into the same glass door she came in from. Denise recovers, pulls out a derringer and gets one shot off before Pig's rake comes down and smashes her into the cement putting nine gaping holes in her torso. Darrell's head roles as Mara sheaths her sword and Monkey leaps into the middle, too late to do anything.

He grabs Mara angrily, shakes her, but she's looking over his shoulder, mouth open as she points to the car. Monkey looks back and see's a hole through the windshield, Darlene slumped over, blood pouring down her cheek. Pig pulls Denise off his rake and tosses the body across the parking lot.

"I'm sorry," Mara lets out meekly.

Monkey picks up the closest thing next to him which happens to be a 1997 Blue Ford Ranger and throws it over the gas station. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TWO!" He watches it sail through the air then disappear behind the building. "I'm not letting this go," he mutters to himself, then loudly. "I'm going to get Darlene and bring her back."

Pig walks over cleaning the blood off his rake with a blue towel.

"Just let her go. She's dead."

"Her souls being taken to Yama in the underworld. I'm going down there and you two are going to stay here and figure this out," and with that he jumps on his summersault cloud and is gone. Pig and Mara look at each other as the sound of sirens echo in the distance.

Monkey rushes down to the underworld, remembering the way from years before, avoiding all hints of light till every speck is gone and there's only a tremendous blackness that spreads over everything. His eyes burn as he stares deeply into nothing till the shimmering gates appear guarded by a horde of small demons who turn white with fear as he approaches.

"He's come back," they cry. "The monkey demon's returned!"

He pulls out his cudgel but there's no one left to fight. They've all run inside and locked the doors. Monkey throws open the gates and this is what he sees,

A black fortress shinning without light
a moat of tar and coal and soot
a single path splitting the circle
leads to the great doors
of The Palace of Death

Monkey bangs with his cudgel. No answer. He bangs again putting large dents all up and down its narrow frame.

"Go away," comes a voice. "You've no business here Monkey."

"I want Darlene!" Monkey yells back banging even louder.

There's a silence then the sound of metal on metal, great bolts being turned. The door cracks open and a demon that looks like a goat pokes his head out.

"What do you want?"

"Darlene," Monkey says lowering his cudgel.

The demon looks puzzled then lifts a finger and says, "Hold on one second." The door closes, the locks turn and Monkey hears, "Do we have a Darlene? I don't know either. So go get the books AND CHECK!"

Monkey waits then the metal locks groan again and the goat-headed demon comes back. "So we have five Darlene's that died recently. I know that sounds unbelievable but if you figure there are billions of people that isn't such a coincidence." Monkey stares at him impatiently. "Right. So you don't care. I get it. Do you know her last name?"

"She's just Darlene."

"Ok....well, unfortunately, and please don't beat my head in for saying this, I can't just let someone go, even for The Great Monkey King." He looks to see if anyone else is with him, then, "This is The Palace of Death. Do you know how many people plead with us to get their loved ones back?" He waits to see if this lands. "I mean, I don't have the actual number, but the point is, it's a lot. We, uh, don't normally..." Monkey's eyes burn with flames as the demon breaks out in a sweat. "Keep in mind we did let you cross your name out of the book of the dead and officially make you immortal, so, you know, that's not nothing."

Monkey throws open the door and starts searching the palace as the demon scurries behind.

"Wait! Wait," he calls trying to keep up. He stops out of breath, pants for a second then, "Just follow me and please, don't smash anything. Ok?"

He waddles across The Great Hall, down a flight of stairs, around a corner to a small wooden door that opens to a concrete room. Tables and chairs are stacked on one side, and on the other, five women are huddled together. They spread themselves out into a lineup when they see the demon enter and stop talking as Monkey surveys the group.

"Sorry for the mess," the demon says shooing his assistant away after he hands him a clipboard. "We don't normally let people in here, but..."

"None of these are Darlene," Monkey says impatiently.

"Are you sure?" He looks down at the clipboard.

"Darlene smokes and has big hair. Like this," he motions with his hands above his head.

"Darlene Dietrich smokes." The demon points to the middle Darlene.

She nods, then, "They won't let us smoke down here."

"That's not her." Monkey says. "You'd know Darlene."

"Look, there are a lot of Darlene's. I don't know if we have the one you're looking for."

"There's only one Darlene," Monkey says grabbing the demon by his horn.

"Ok. Ok. Let's go check the front desk. Maybe she hasn't finished checking in."

Monkey releases the demon and he scurries down the hall, the faint sound of yelling gets louder as they approach The Registry, a room like an old bus station with rows and rows of wood benches, thousands of people waiting, as a single file line snakes down the middle ending in a demon sitting behind an ornate wood desk painted black. Darlene's on the other side, cigarette in mouth, grabbing a demon by the horns and throwing him against the wall, another gets drop kicked across the room, a third, slapped in the face tumbles across the floor.

The goat-headed demon waddles up with an exasperated, "What's going on here?"

The front-desk-demon rushes forward, gives a short bow and says, "We can't get her to stop smoking. Technically we can't book her till she puts her cigarette out. We thought we'd just let her finish, but she's got a carton stashed...somewhere. She just keeps lighting them. I don't know where they're coming from."

"You son's-a-bitches are gonna take these over my dead body," Darlene says, cigarette in each hand, wide stance, head looking this way and that, eyes narrowed, as she takes turns puffing, keeping them both lit. Monkey walks over and Darlene smiles. "My hero, come to rescue me." Monkey smiles back then turns to the goat-headed demon.

"So here's the thing," the demon says taking a large gulp. "We need a replacement. If you want to take her."

"You haven't booked her yet."

"Yes, but...she's dead. She's here, so she's already been entered into the system."

Monkey looks at the front-desk-demon and smashes him over the head with his cudgel instantly killing him.

"There," Monkey says. "Use him."

"He was already dead! And...he was a demon. You can't just..."

"If he was already dead, what is he now?" Monkey says grinning. "Besides, Darlene isn't even Buddhist. She shouldn't even be here." The demon puzzles over this as Monkey places a hand on one of his horns. "How about this. You let Darlene leave and I won't turn your palace into a giant pile of rubble."

He looks up at Monkey then over to the smashed demon then over to Darlene.

"You know what, I think we have enough Darlene's right now. Why don't you two get out of here and I'll just forget this little mixup ever happened." Monkey lets him go, walks over and puts his arm around Darlene. The demon frowns as Monkey hops on his summersault-cloud, Darlene riding piggyback. "Yama's not going to be happy about this, and when Yama's not happy that means the Jade Emperor's not happy." Darlene gives him the finger. "You've started a big mess again. You remember how that ended last time don't you?"

Monkey flashes another smile then leaps into the air, past the moat and the gates, past the ever encircling darkness to the tiniest crack of light which opens to a flood and no quicker than a blink of an eye they're standing in front of the gas station. Monkey looks and sees,

A charred building
smoke billowing out of the roof
that's fallen in
three cops cars
littered behind
red and blue lights flashing
but no people
no bodies
no sign of anything
except Darlene's body
still slumped in the seat
the blood now dried
her eyes staring deep into
the flashing sign of the gas station
the blinking yellow letters
change in turn
THANK
YOU
FOR
YOUR
SERVICE