Darlene looks at the hole in her head, body slouched in the seat, dried blood on her face and breasts. "Ugh. Why'd I have to be bent over like that." She puts both hands on the door and leans in. "Makes it look like I have a double chin." Examines her reflection in the driver's side mirror. "Do I always look like this or is it cause I'm dead?" She smiles and her reflection smiles back, lights a cigarette and walks around looking at the burnt rubble, the roofs of cars smashed in, newspaper stands knocked over, the glossy real estate magazines spilling out on the asphalt. She reaches down, picks one up, flips it over. On the back is a genie wearing a purple hat, his six hands raised with magic sparkle swooshes coming out of each palm and in the center a small silvery can that says GENIE GUICE.

"Hey," she calls over to Monkey who's holding a red GMC Suburban in one hand while digging through the broken asphalt with the other. "HEY!" He looks back. "Do I have magic powers?" He stares blankly so she wiggles her fingers to try and clarify. "You know, magic." He shakes his head. "How bout, what do you call them? Can alive people see me? I'm invisible right?" He shakes his head again. "Guess you're alive and you can see me, though you are a magic monkey." He frowns, says something to himself and continues to dig as Darlene ponders this last point. "Only monkeys can see dead people." He finishes searching and walks over wiping his hands on his pants and scouting the horizon. "Seems pretty arbitrary if you ask me."

"What?"

"That Monkeys can see dead people."

"Who told you that?"

Darlene shrugs, puffs on her cigarette and wanders around crunching the broken glass with her heels. She stops in front of a hedge that was planted to hide the trash bin behind it, extends all ten fingers, squints her eyes and focuses. Monkey walks over, looks at her then to the bush then back to her wiggling fingers.

"What are you doing?"

"Shhh! I'm gonna set that bush on fire."

"No. You're not." He puts his paw on her hand and lowers it. "You can't do any of those things."

"Well god damn it. What fun is it being dead if you don't get magic powers?"

"That's what I've been saying. It's not fun. Being dead is boring and it lasts forever."

She looks back at her body slumped in the car.

"If I go back, is that hole gonna stay in my head?"

"I don't know," Monkey says impatiently. "But we're in a rush so..."

"Never gonna live this down," she mutters, her voice lowering, "Hey Darlene, you're so dumb you've literally got a hole in her head." Monkey sighs as the black billowing clouds from a charred cop car wafts over them. They exchange looks. "All right, give me a god damn minute. It's not every day a girl's got to make a decision like this."

"There's no decision! You have to go back to your body."

"How does it work? Do I just touch it or say some words or something? Do I need a running start? Help me out here Monkey. I've never merged with my body before. I mean, I took mushrooms once with Darren when we went on one of his famous," she uses air quotes, "camping trips," lets her fingers hang in the air for emphasis then puts both hands on her hips. "Felt like I merged with something that weekend and it definitely wasn't Darren in the back of his Ranger. Spiritual stuff, or, whatever. You know what I'm talkin' bout."

Monkey frowns and looks at her cigarette.

"Do you always smoke this much?"

"Damn it Monkey! Do you have to make me come out and say it? I'm nervous."

"Oh." He scratches his chin. "There is an ancient Buddhist technique that might help. But it requires I do some magic."

Darlene looks at him suspiciously.

"Well...I suppose. Long as you don't shrink my head or nothing."

Monkey nods.

"First you have to close your eyes."

She shuts them tightly, takes a drag and exhales.

"Like this?"

"Sure, now count to ten."

"One...two..."

Monkey picks her up, spins her around and tosses her through the window. She instantly merges with her body, falls out of the car and rolls to the ground.

"You son of a..." She lifts herself up and dusts off, checks her face in the mirror. "It didn't go away. Look at this!" she says pointing to the hole, tilts her head so she can see it better. "Maybe I can put some makeup on it."

Monkey calls his summersault-cloud which swoops down and hovers next to him.

"C'mon," he says.

"C'mon where?"

"We've got to find Pig and Mara."

"On that thing? No way. I'm not leaving my baby," she says putting her hand on the hood of her car.

"We don't have time to argue about this." Darlene gets in the driver's seat, shuts the door, puts her seatbelt on and grips the wheel tightly with both hands. "Fine," Monkey says. "Have it your way."

She lets out a shriek as her LeBaron lifts off the ground. Monkey carries it over to his summersault-cloud, leaps on top then shoots off a thousand feet in the air as he scans the horizon with his fiery gaze. Darlene's shrieks turn to hysterical laughter followed by a, "Ho...ly...shit," then clapping then more laughter. Monkey continues to scan as he hears the car door open then see's Darlene's head pop out upside down.

"Do you think this is good for my suspension? I'm worried you're mangling her with your super monkey strength."

"It'll be fine."

"You're gripping on the sides, right? Where the jack goes and not on any of the vitals?" Monkey ignores her and continues looking. "Just checking," Darlene says, her head disappearing, the sound of the car door closing then, "Is it ok if I turn on the radio?" Darlene turns the dial passing over the day time preachers and AM talk show hosts. "We get really good reception up here. I've never even heard of some of the stations. 99.4? The river? Oh god. It's smooth jazz." She flips around a little longer then, "Oh wait!" digs around the glove box, pulls out a cassette, winds it a bit with her finger, pushes it in the tape deck and cranks up the volume as Judy Garland's voice echoes over the clouds.

"Somewhere over the rainbow
way up high"

She sings along for a while then the car door opens again and Darlene's head pops down. "How bout we just go to Big Pine. We can be there and back before you know it and we'll catch up with them after. I'm sure they're fine. Probably just holed up somewhere."

"I doubt it," Monkey says, "But, it would be easy to get there without Mara." He thinks for a moment then, "Buckle up." Darlene lets out an "Eeeeeeeeeee!" and clicks her seatbelt as Monkey leaps across the state of Florida. He lands on a long stretch of road, ocean on either side lapping at the massive concrete columns propping up a long stretch of highway running straight through the ocean. Darlene's still screaming as Monkey sets the car down and looks around. She stops, puts her hand on her chest to feel her heart then pulls out a Virginia Slim and takes a long drag as Monkey hops in the passenger seat. She exhales, adjusts the rearview, raises an eyebrow as she revs the engine and peels out. Monkey looks behind them.

"The sign says Big Pine is the other way."

"I know where Big Pine is, but ol' Darlene's lived in Florida half her life and never seen the sunset in Key West, and we're just a few miles away." Monkey frowns. "Uh oh," Darlene says pinching Monkeys face looking for a cheek but failing to find one. "There's that look again. Relax. Your friends can take care of themselves. Besides, I just want one little peek at this sunset then we can hop in the car and come right back. Thirty minutes tops. I did go out of my way to drive you guys down here you know."

"You didn't drive us. I just leapt over the state."

"Well, you did get me killed today, so there's that."

"I brought you back to life!"

"Yeah, but now I have this hole in my head!" she says pointing to the small bullet hole in her right temple. Monkey slouches in his seat as Darlene taps her fingers on the steering wheel smiling, throws a glance at him and squeezes his leg before stepping on the gas and letting out a little yelp. "We're going to Key West!"

The sun's still high when they arrive. Darlene runs into a bar, Monkey follows close behind.

"Do a shot with me!"

He shakes his head but Darlene is already leaning over the bar holding up two fingers, asking the bartender about his mother and telling him about how her mother died last year in a boating accident and all about the house she grew up in which, "wasn't exactly a house, but more like a cobbled-together shack that floated when the water got too high." Monkey takes his eyes off her and is slapped hard on the back, spins around only to see Darlene pushing a shot in his hand.

"We're in Key West!" she yells before gulping it down then motions for Monkey to do the same. He does so reluctantly and sets his glass on a nearby table then tugs on her arm.

"C'mon, let's see the sunset."

"We just got here. Let's go to the end of the strip and do the walk," she says sticking her elbow out for Monkey to grab.

They walk down the street as people stop to laugh, take pictures and say things like, "That woman has a pet monkey!" or "Look at that Monkey!" or "Nice Monkey!" Not the most brilliant commentary, but to be fair, it is hard to think of witty things to say when you're drunk at three in the afternoon and you've just seen a woman with a hole in her head walking down the street talking to a four-foot tall monkey in tiger-striped pants. They make it two blocks before Darlene ducks into another bar. This is one is packed and they have to squeeze through a sea of old men in beige.

Monkey looks behind him and sees,

24 men on stage
big white beards
safari outfits
beer and guts and smiles
cheers as one stands
to recite a poem
he wrote
about fishing
The crowd is holding paper masks
with a man's face
on a stick
two almond-shaped
cut-outs
for eyes
as they cheer
and the overhead fan blows
the vinyl banner
that reads
Ernest Hemingway Look-a-Like Competition

Monkey tugs on Darlene's shirt. "Who's Ernest Hemingway?"

"Oh, some fisherman," she says raising her hand to get the bartender's attention. Monkey surveys the crowd as the staff moves some tables around getting ready for the arm wrestling competition.

"Americans sure love their fishermen."

He reaches back to tug on her shirt but she's gone, another woman standing in her spot wearing a bright pink tank top, her well-oiled hand waving a twenty-dollar bill. Monkey looks around, but is lost in a sea of beige. He pushes his way out to the street but she's not there either. "Of course," he mutters to himself then walks the rest of the way to the beach by himself.

"This stupid sun's backlighting me. Is there a filter for suns?"

A woman in a one-piece with giant red splashy flowers is looking at her phone as her husband hands their kid an ice cream, pays the vendor then screams, "I don't know!" There's a young woman lying on the beach in slumber party pose letting the waves crash over her. She gets up as her boyfriend shows her the picture, shakes her head then runs back to the water. "I want the waves crashing behind me. Also my face looks weird in that one. Can you crouch lower?" she says shielding the sun from her eyes with her hand. He flattens himself against the beach as she gets back into position and smiles.

Monkey scans further and there are at least a dozen women having their picture taken doing yoga or pretending to hold the sun, or, in one case, both. There's a mother propping their baby next to a pre-made sandcastle, carefully curating a blue bucket here, a red sand scoop there, before running holding her phone yelling, "Don't move! Momma's gonna be right back!" Further out, there are rows and rows of women in beach chairs taking pictures of their legs, holding beers, daiquiris, posting emojis of hotdogs and smiley faces tearfully laughing. One woman, by herself, is carefully making footprints in the sand then trying to walk back and photograph them but the ocean keeps washing over and making them look like smooth divets. It happens a third time and she yells, "Jesus Christ!" before changing plans and flashing a peace sign next to a sailboat.

"Did you see the pic that Jennifer posted last night?" a woman in a red bikini says walking by.

"Oh my god. No. Where?"

She shows her phone to the other woman who immediately starts laughing then, "and you liked it? You're such a bitch."

"I know," she says tossing her hair. "Where's Chad?"

Chad is sitting by his cooler playing pool on his phone, looks up long enough to give his girlfriend a wave then switches over to Instagram to make sure he's liked all her photos. The two women walk to the edge of the water, giggle and run away as their toes get wet, wrap their arms around each other as the red bikini lady extends her right arm to get a good shot. She takes five or six just to be sure and is about to walk back to Chad and yell at him for being on his phone when a giant wave crashes over and they're sucked out to sea. Their heads pop back up as another wave crashes and they wash up on the beach, two skeletons, bones picked clean, eyes covered in tiny grains of sand staring up at the sun.

Monkey peers into the waves and sees,

A demon with a thousand bloodshot eyes
covering its body
shovel-shaped mouth
and taloned hands
It moves invisibly in the water
comes out with the surf
sinks its claws in unsuspecting shoulders
and cleans the body
of muscle and flesh
it's jaws click in ecstasy
as it writhes
and removes the bones
of all
it's content

Monkey reaches behind his ear, pulls out his cudgel and leaps into the waves.

"Look," someone shouts, "that Monkey thinks he's people!" All the cellphones turn toward a wet exasperated monkey splashing in the water as people laugh and click and share. Monkey summersaults through the air and comes down hard on top of the demon, but his cudgel passes right through. As more people turn to stare, another thousand eyes open on its body, all searching, looking for flesh. It leaps out on the beach, it's taloned hands raised, mouth open, as it lets out a gurgled high pitched scream.

Monkey turns to the crowd, jumps up and down cursing them, waves his hands for them to leave, but they only laugh and text their friends who come running with hot dogs, bud light lime's, pool noodles and five-foot margaritas. More phones, more people, more eyes pop open on the demons till there's not a speck of flesh, just eyeballs squeezing together.

"They can't see it," Monkey thinks as he dodges the talons which sink deep into the sand leaving five gaping holes that fill with water. He pole-vaults over the monster, lands, grabs the end of his cudgel with both hands, swings it over his head, catches an unsuspecting purple tube top on the end and rips it off sending it flying across the beach. The topless woman lets out a yelp and drops her phone in the water, the screen glows blue then the ocean turns it black. Monkey watches as a single eye from the monster disappears. He scans the beach at all the phones then smiles to himself, leaps in the water and is gone.

Deep down on the ocean floor
a mighty jade dragon
pearlescent scales
fine wispy beard
and claws
shinning in the light
plays cards with
an extremely upset looking tortoise
and an aloof black snake
small wood table between them
sunk into a bed of seaweed
drinks and chips and coasters
a crab waiter that scurries away
as the tortoise throws down
his cards
and the red and blue and white chips
float off
into the dark waves
of the deep

The dragon looks over as Monkey bows and hurriedly gets up.

"I don't mean to disturb you but..."

"But there's a terrible thousand-eyed demon. Yeah. We know. He's been there for years. Keeps to himself mostly."

"He's eating people!"

"Yes, well he can't exactly live off tortoises can he?" The dragon shuffles the cards. The snake yawns. The tortoise looks at Monkey and scowls, folds his arms against his chest. "I wish I could help you," the dragon continues, "but this is all the way up from the Jade Emperor. Nothing I can do about it." The tortoise continues to glare at Monkey.

"What?" Monkey says returning his stare.

"Oh you don't remember me?" Monkey shakes his head. "One day you barged into The Dragon Palace of the Eastern Ocean demanding we give you a weapon, and when we gave you that cudgel of yours, you smacked me over the head with it right before you left." Monkey stares blankly. "Not ringing any bells?"

"Sorry."

"Don't mind him. He's mad I've been beating him in cards all day."

Monkey turns to the Dragon.

"I need a giant wave to crash over the beach. Do you think you could do that?"

"Well, sure I could do it," he says dealing out the cards and picking his up, "but, you know, the Dragon of Wind and Waves is in charge of, well, wind and waves. I think there's a medium-sized one coming in a few hours if that would work."

"No, I need something big."

The dragon fans his cards out, rearranges a few. "If you want something out of the ordinary you'll have to go to Heaven and get the proper paperwork. If I make a giant wave The Dragon of Wind and Waves is going to get all pissy and the last thing I need is for him to start sticking his nose down here."

"He's on vacation," the snake says trying to pick his cards with his tail.

"That's right. He is on vacation." The dragon thinks for a moment. "You'll have to go to the Dragon of Clouds and Thunder. Not really his department, but he might be able to help you. Why don't you sit down for some cards and..." but before he can finish Monkey has leapt out of the ocean and straight up to the Western Gates of Heaven.

The snake manages to play his first card flopping down a 2 of clubs with his tail.

"Well that was rude."

The dragon throws a queen of spades.

"Oh, you know him. The world's always ending with that one."

Monkey stands in front of the giant brass bars of the heavenly gates. A small guard station is unguarded, a clipboard hangs off the side. Monkey picks it up, flips through the pages of names then turns it over. Someone's scratched the words "Steve was here," into the wood and then underneath that, "No he wasn't". Jupiter is sitting on the edge of the clouds, feet hanging over, smoking. He looks up, sees Monkey hanging the clipboard back up, throws his joint over the side and quickly rolls to his feet. The gate is already ajar as Monkey walks up and Jupiter stands in his way.

"You're not supposed to be here," he says holding his hand up.

Monkey sniffs him a couple times then looks in his bloodshot eyes.

"Does the Jade Emperor know you're smoking again?" Jupiter turns red and his eyes widen. "Because from what I remember, he's already told you to stop smoking twice and I think a third time comes with a punishment."

"You damn Monkey," he scowls. "What do you want?"

"I need paperwork for a giant wave on a Florida beach later this afternoon."

"The Dragon of Wind and Waves is on vacation."

"You'll have to ask the Dragon of Clouds of Thunder."

"Ah crap."

"What?"

"It's just that...he doesn't like me." He bites his lower lip. "You'll have to come with me."

"I'm not allowed in heaven."

"I know but, just turn into one of the things you can turn into and I'll sneak you in."

Monkey pulls a pair of sunglasses from his pouch and puts them on.

"There's no need. These work just fine."

They walk together down a white clouded path, up a hill, past the stables and the peach garden, and the great palace of the Jade Emperor, past Lao Tzu's laboratory, to a squatty office building, a giant jade dragon fountain shoots water from its mouth onto a fish as Jupiter opens the door and Monkey follows him down a maze of hallways till they come to the door that says, "Dragon of Clouds and Thunder" etched on a wooden slate that's hung by a nail. Jupiter raises his eyebrows then pushes it open as they enter a cavernous chamber, seven alabaster pillars split up the room, an enormous dragon is curled around them, and in the middle of the room, a blinking crystal ball.

"WHAT!" he booms as they enter. "Oh. It's you." He narrows his eyes at Jupiter. "What do you want?"

"I...uh...have a request from...Monkey...a monkey about...a wave...in Florida."

"You're bothering me because a monkey wants a wave on a beach in Florida?" There's a long silence as Jupiter struggles to come up with an answer. The dragon finally lets out a sigh and says, "I couldn't even help you if I wanted to, which I don't by the way. Look at my crystal ball!" Monkey and Jupiter look at the ball then back to the dragon. "IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE BLINKING!" the dragon says furiously. "It's been doing this all morning. I put a call down to The Office of Magic and Crystals but they haven't even bothered to get back to me." All three stare at the blinking ball then the dragon's eyes narrow toward Jupiter. "I'll make you a deal, if you go down there and get them to fix my ball, I'll make whatever sized wave wherever you want it."

Down in The Office of Magic and Crystals, Monkey and Jupiter sit waiting in hard orange plastic chairs pushed against the wall. There's a giant glowing crystal on the far wall with a slot at the bottom that's pushing out a seemingly endless paper strip that's covered the floor and has started to reach the tops of the desks that are currently occupied by two busy dwarves who are hurriedly cutting it up with scissors and putting them into file folders that are then given to other dwarves who are rushing around the office in a near panic. The reams of paper stop and the crystal turns a dark purple.

"It's out of paper," one dwarf screams as another digs through a stack of cardboard boxes in the corner, finds a new reel, opens up the crystal, which is hinged on the side and fits it inside before slamming it shut. The crystal turns pink then starts spitting out more paper as everyone continues rushing around.

Exasperated, one dwarf turns to the other and says, "We've got 35,342 requests from the state of California in the last hour!" The other dwarf rolls his eyes. "Julie alone has put in 300 requests since this morning."

"Broke up with her boyfriend again?"

He nods.

"I've got," he picks up one of the strips and flips through the stack, "'Show me my place in the universe.' 'What does it all mean?' 'Why doesn't Brian like me like I like him?' and then one here that just says, 'Pizza'."

"I've got a 'Pizza' over here too," the dwarf says combing through his desk.

"You can just take those, 'place in the universe' requests and put them in the shredder."

"Really?"

"Yeah, new rule."

The dwarf on the right looks up at Monkey and Jupiter then back to his papers. "I suppose you two want something of great importance?" Jupiter is staring at his hands so Monkey hops out of his seat and gives a small polite bow.

"We're here on behalf of the Dragon of Clouds and Thunder. His ball isn't working. He said he called this morning and no one's gotten back to him."

"Oh. That." The dwarf closes a folder and hands it off then leans back in his chair. "I would love to get right on that, but as you can see, we have our hands full. We told him to turn it off and on again. Did he try that?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know," he leans forward, sighs, opens a big leather book and runs his finger down a long list of dates. "Friday would work. How's Friday?"

"What can we do to...speed things up. I'm kind of in a hurry."

The dwarf looks around and laughs.

"Well, if these requests stopped coming I guess we could get all caught up, but..."

In an instant Monkey is plunging towards the earth. He drops into downtown Los Angeles, see's five different crystal shops, leaps into one and finds a man with dreadlocks sitting on the floor in front of an elaborate amethyst display, aligned in intersecting circles and triangles.

"Welcome to High Spirit Rock Company," he says smiling, putting his hands together. "We're having a special today on..."

Monkey whips his cudgel out, smashes all the crystals on the floor, in the display case, around the man's neck, on his wrists and in his pockets then leaps a thousand feet in the air and looks down with his fiery gaze. He plummets to the street, pushes down a chubby man in an "I am the Universe" shirt as he hops on the head of a woman in a white flowy linen dress ripping the crystals off their necks as he crashes through the window of an apartment complex disrupting an Ayahuasca ceremony led by a Shapibo Joe and His Mystical Guitar of a Thousand Voices, crushing their crystal altar and Shapibo Joe's Mystical Guitar, as he leaps through the wall and is gone.

A woman and her friend sit cross-legged in her bedroom a large chunk of golden onyx between them, Alex Gray poster on the wall as they burn sage and chant and pray, hands clasped together, eyes closed. They hear a strange sound and open their eyes, shocked to see the crushed onyx before them.

"Look!" the friend says, "It's saying, 'your old life is crumbling. Leave it behind to embrace something new.' You should take that job in Arizona!"

The woman looks unsure.

"But what if the crystal IS the job?"

Monkey leaps back to heaven, back to The Office of Crystals, a bit out of breath. The dwarves are wide-eyed looking at their giant crystal.

"Well, I don't know what you did, but you managed to stop about 85% of incoming requests."

The other dwarf turns to Monkey. "If you went to Taos I think we could knock out that other 15% pretty quick."

"No," the head dwarf says. "We don't want to put ourselves out of business."

"What business? Are you getting paid for this?"

"Don't start with that again. This is Heaven. What do you need that you don't already have?"

"How about two weeks of vacation and a crystal that doesn't run out of paper?"

"Excuse me," Monkey interjects, "but can you go look at that ball now?"

"We'll talk about this later," the head dwarf says reaching down and picking up a tool bag "Now, let's go see this crystal ball everyone cares so much about."

Back in the office of The Dragon of Clouds and Thunder the dwarf looks at the ball blinking on and off. He puts his tiny palm on top of it, hits it a couple times, reaches down toward the base and feels around before finding a white cord which he follows down to an electrical outlet. He pulls the plug, waits 10 seconds then plugs it back in. The ball turns red and starts blinking then is a solid red then eventually softens and turns blue.

"Great. You're all set."

"So what was wrong with it?" the Dragon asks.

"I don't know what was wrong with it, but it's working now. All you had to do was plug it back in."

"I did that," the dragon says, "but it didn't work for me."

"Did you wait ten seconds after you unplugged it?"

The dragon pauses.

"Yes."

The dwarf shakes his head as the Dragon waves his tiny hands over the ball and mutters some magic words.

"Is that it?" Monkey asks.

"That's it," the Dragon says. "But next time..."

But before he can finish Monkey is falling back to earth, back to the beach where The Thousand Eyed Demon is waiting. He readies his cudgel but the demon doesn't respond. His arms are folded across his chest and all of his eyes look irritated.

"Oh, so now you're back and I suppose you think we can just start fighting again?" Monkey cocks his head and looks confused. "I've been sitting here ten minutes. TEN MINUTES. I mean, we were doing our thing, battling in the water, with your fancy stick, and then you just leave?" He puts his claws on what should be his hips. "Frankly, it's embarrassing. For you." He points to Monkey. "I've fought plenty of people and no one's left in the middle, so it's not my problem." Scans the crowd of beachgoers not wanting to make eye contact. "I'm a god damn professional. Even when I'm not feeling it, I'll at least be courteous enough to finish. But you? Not even a word. Not even a, 'Hey, I'll be right back. I gotta see Princess Iron Fan.' Not even a thought about how it'd make me feel." All of his thousand eyes blink as he folds his arms tightly across what would be his chest, "It never occurred to you, did it? I'm just another demon. Another notch in your belt. Yeah, I eat people, but I also get my feelings hurt like anyone else."

Monkey looks puzzled. "You don't want to fight me?"

"I mean, I WANTED to fight you. I was in the mood about ten minutes ago, but now, it feels so...forced."

"Maybe if I start attacking you, you might get into it again."

"Maybe, but now we're talking about it and it just feels weird."

Off in the distance, a giant wave grows. Monkey see's it and leaps into the ocean. The Thousand Eyed Demon takes a deep breath, turns and readies himself only to see Monkey's gone again.

"Oh my god, are you fucking kidding me?" He throws his taloned hands in the air. "I am going to the..." but before he can finish a shadow eclipses the beach. It's almost sunset. All of the tourists are taking off their sunglasses, readying their cameras, pointing their phones at the sun. The Thousand Eyed Demon turns to see a massive wave, Monkey on top, gold banded cudgel in hand, riding his Summersault-cloud like a surfboard, the sun blotted out as it looms over the entire beach then crashes, a thousand watery hands strip the cell phones and swimsuits of every beachgoer pulling them back out to sea.

The demon peels himself up as Monkey stands triumphantly in front of him smiling.

"What was that supposed to do?" He brushes himself off. "What, so you got sand in my eyes. Big deal."

The beachgoers start to get up, naked, slightly chilly, A few dive behind beach umbrellas or flip over lounge chairs. Others jump into the water. Some just laugh and start running around. Without their phones, the monster's eye start to pop, 500 down to 200 then 100 till he is just one giant beachball sized eyeball. Monkey walks over and picks him up, looks behind him and sees Darlene running toward him, a trophy in one arm and a six-pack of beer in the other. He waves but she doesn't respond.

"You're not too late for the sunset," he says admiring the trophy with two golden arms on top, "Did you win?"

"Screw the sunset," Darlene says knocking the beach ball out of his hands. "What're you out here playing with toys? We got some real problems here!"

Monkey looks behind her and sees The Ernests falling out of the bar, angry, red-faced, a mass of beige with arms waving, carrying fishing poles and beer mugs and copies of A Farewell to Arms. Darlene yanks Monkey along as they high tail it to the car, hop in and speed off, Darlene laughing as she takes out a fortune-teller stand, tarot cards scatter in the wind, as the psychic dives out of the way and the two speed off down the road to Big Pine.