In no time Monkey is flying over rolling hills and mountainous ridges scanning the valleys dotted with small houses, trailers and carports. He hovers above a gas station that's also a Godfather's pizza, hops down from his summersault-cloud on to the hot asphalt, turns into a fly, buzzes past a row of pickup's then sticks to the window advertising cheese fries and a 40 oz coke as a group of teenagers stumble out the door laughing and showing each other their phones. He watches as they load into a car, shouts "Change!", turns into the kid with the stringy blond hair wearing the Megadeath shirt and walks inside. This is what he sees,

   A large woman in floral print
   stands behind the counter
   pink petals
   covering the hills and valleys
   a pepperoni pizza
   glistening
   under lamp light
   rotates
   as the tiny motor
   inside
   keeps turning

"I'm looking for Pig," Monkey says walking up to the lady. "He runs a camp around here. Have you seen him?"

"Only pigs I know are cut up and on sale at the Food Lion up the street," she says pointing to the large display of 5 hour energy drinks behind her.

Monkey nods and looks at the small television wedged in the corner. Flames burn across the screen as it switches to a newscaster interviewing a woman and her three kids, a hard cut to commercial then a trailer for the latest superhero movie. Monkey leans in to watch as a guy made of lightning gets kicked in the face. The music swells dramatically as he punches through a sea of bad guys then it's over and there's a woman with her hands on her hips staring at her cat. A magical bald genie appears and the green mist that's covering her apartment disappears with a sweep of his hand. Monkey loses interest, pushes open the door and walks outside. A white horse is standing where the red pickup had been, gives a snort then shakes its head.

"White dragon?" he says extending his hand and stroking its neck. The horse does not respond. Just looks forward, picks up its foot and sets it down.

"Touchin' another man's horse liable get you shot."

Monkey wheels around to see a man slumped on the sidewalk in blue jeans, jean jacket and a worn blue jean hat covered in gold pins wearing a t-shirt with a picture of a bulldog, big red text offset to the side that says, 'In dog beers I've only had one.'

"I'm just fuckin' with you," he says. "It IS my horse though. Wanna drink?"

Monkey walks over, sits down and takes a drink.

"This is the first time someone's offered me something since I've been here," Monkey says handing it back. "In my day, wherever we went, people would take us in, fix us food and give us room and board. It was a sign of respect for the work we were doing."

"In yer day? What're you 15? Shut the fuck up with that already."

Monkey looks at the man, thinks about pounding him into the ground then instead, "I'm looking for someone. He runs a camp around here. Have you seen him?"

"Oh, you mean those hippie faggots that prance around in the hills by the old Boy Scout Camp doin' their witchy look-at-me I'm wearing some fuckin' fairy wings with my tits out and I drive my parent's Jeep with a bunch of save the planet bumper stickers plastered all over my god damn window so I can't see out the back when I'm driving like an asshole and don't even wave when you pass me on my horse?"

Monkey scratches his head. "These do sound like the people I'm looking for." He thinks for a moment. "Do they like to lie around, eat and do nothing all the time?"

The man's eye grow wide.

"ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME? That's all they do besides their poly I'll just take any old dick or pussy but please for the love of god I better not get one ounce of GLUTEN on my tongue or my god damn heads gonna explode lousy good for nuthin' son's a bitches here have some my hot pocket I gotta pee."

The man stands, unzips his fly and turns his back and this is what Monkey sees,

One hand
against the wall
holds the weight of a man
peeing next to the ice bins
with red letters
so cold
icicles hang
as golden streams form a puddle
that trickles in the weeds
as the laughter of two teenagers
and the steam of the hot pocket
carry across the yellow lines of
the Godfathers
parking lot

"They call me Mike," he says zipping up his pants and sitting back down. "What's yer name?"

"Sun Wokung. The Handsome Monkey King. Great Sage Equal to Heaven. King of the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit."

Mike takes another drink.

"Well I'm gonna call ya Tom." He pats Monkey on the back. "Now Tom if you wanna find those low-life do nuthin but harp on how everybody's not glistenin' with the high holy spiritual fuck magic that seems to grace their perfect blonde heads I tell ya where to find 'em but," he raises a finger, "BUT you gotta promise me somethin' Tom." He pushes the bottle over to Monkey offering another drink. "You gotta PROMISE ME that in two weeks I'm not gonna see you down here prancin' and dancin' to some swimmy swammy voodoo trance music with yer shirt unbuttoned wearing one of those polka dot hats talking like someone just shoved a little Asian man up yer ass and now yer blabbing the same ying-yang-yong look at my drugged-out scorpio girlfriend with crystals and glitter all over her body like a god damn disco ball, do you hear what I'm saying?"

"Where are they?" Monkey asks impatiently standing and turning back to his true form.

"I'm gonna tell ya. I'm gonna TELL ya Tom, but first I gotta say and I don't know if it's the whiskey, the hot pocket, the sun baking my brains or all three, but GOD DAMN you got a lot uglier since I met you."

Monkey grows thirty feet tall, a fiery aura burns around him as he pulls his cudgel from behind his ear and points it down at Mike and in a booming voice with flames shooting as tall as the hills that scorch the power lines and cause all the lights to flicker for miles, "WHERE ARE THEY!?!"

Mike looks up, takes a drink and screws the cap back on then wipes his mouth. "Off BB highway. Second right after Caseys."

Monkey doesn't waste a second and is off on his summersault-cloud flying past the highway and over a couple of cabins nestled in the woods. He swoops down lower and sees two people sunbathing on a blanket, lands and approaches, smiling and waving. A plump girl with a stretched out yin yang tattooed across her belly raises her head. The man, in dark shades and nothing else, does not move. Monkey stands over them grinning happily.

"I've heard an old friend of mine runs a camp up here. His name's Zhu Bajie or Zhu Wuneng or sometimes just Pig."

The girl leaning back on her elbows picks up a handmade ceramic cup filled with a strange liquid that has seeds and stems floating on top, takes a sip then as she puts it back down, "What's wrong with your face?" Monkey cocks his head and smiles so she can see every one of his teeth. "You're...the ugliest person I've ever seen."

"Savannah!" the guy says leaning up. "That's not a respectful way to talk to strangers."

"I thought we were practicing radical truthfulness Brad? I speak my truth now," she says turning back to Monkey. "I manifest the light in my life and I speak the truth to all beings I meet that were once lost like myself," she says touching her breast, "That's what The Master teaches us," and then turning to Brad, "Let's take him to The Master and see if he'll accept him into The Seven Circles. He says he knows him," and then turning back to Monkey, "You must've had such a hard life being so ugly."

"I've fought a lot of demons."

"I bet you have," she says reaching out to touch Monkey's hand which he reluctantly lets her do.

Brad does not look so sure but is unable to come up with an excuse quick enough and even though he was sure he was finally going to get to sleep with her, he sighs, folds up his blanket and walks toward the cabin, his tattooed butt with concentric circles and ancient runes leading the way. As Monkey enters the camp this is what he sees,

People of all shapes
walking naked
talking with each other
as the bumblebees buzz
and the peonies
planted in front of the Great Lodge
dip low to the ground
the ants in black rows
crawling green stalks
as the sweat of an entire camp
hangs in the air
and Debbie
who's just emerged from her cabin
talks excitedly to Suzanne
telling her about how
Darren
gave Jessica
a UTI

"Wait here," Brad says to Monkey as he walks the steps to the Great Lodge and knocks lightly on the door, a Native American owl painted on both sides so that when you open it the face is split. One side cracks and a bald head pops out looking agitated as he quietly over-pronounces, "We. Are. In. Session."

Brad whispers in his ear and the man jerks his head toward Monkey, gives him a hard look then pushes the door shut, walks down the main aisle through men and women sitting on their plush pink cushions, up the stairs where The Master is sitting, bows repeatedly and says in his ear, "There's a hairy ugly man outside who says he knows you and would like to be permitted in The Great Lodge."

The Master nods with understanding. The bald man knows not to rush him though he does purse his lips and flare his nostrils in anticipation. Finally, The Master leans over and asks, "Does this hairy man have the face of a Thunder God and carry a gold banded cudgel?"

The bald man thinks for a moment and then whispers back, "I don't know what any of that means."

The Master nods again, takes a pipe from his ceremonial pipe stand, picks up his lighter from his ceremonial lighter stand and then smokes a few puffs before setting it down on his ceremonial smoking-pipe stand decorated in red and gold fabric with intertwining circles of immense spirituality. He picks up his pipe again, takes another smoke then starts coughing as his bald helper takes the pipe and puts it out, gently pats him on the back before asking, "Would you like some water?" The Master waves him off, catches his breath.

"Let him in. All are welcome to hear The Truth."

The bald man gives a tight little smile then walks back down the aisle scanning the parishioners for any infractions as he quickly makes his way to the front door, cracks it, beckons them with a wave, sternly points to a few empty cushions in the back then puts his finger to his lips before sitting down himself. Monkey is happy to oblige and plops down and assumes the same serious position everyone else is in.

The Master sits on stage
filled with succulents
and complex geometry
feathers and furs
crystals on crystals
with a guitar on one side
and a woman dutifully bowing
on the other
his Jesus hair flowing
white linens billowing in the breeze
from the fan he's pointed at himself
his silence speaks the volumes
his followers read in their sleep
as he smokes his pipe
and ponders the nature
of everyone else's
existence

"Thank you for coming. I'm so humbled by your presence. Let's give thanks before we begin. Let's give thanks to this beautiful hall and this beautiful food and all you beautiful people," he says with a smile. A few laugh and then resume seriousness. "Let's give thanks for the farmers in the field that grew the plants and the workers who picked it. Let's thank the construction workers who built this cabin and made it possible to be sitting here with you. Most importantly let's give thanks for thanking. There is so much to be thankful for and it's amazing to be able to thank the thanking." The crowd in unison chants, "We shall all thank the thanking." The Master bows then rises. "Does everyone have their astrology tarot decks?" People all around start pulling cards out of purple velvet pouches carefully setting them in front of their mat. Everyone except Monkey. "It looks like we need a deck for the man in back," The Master says motioning to the bald helper who quickly gets to his feet, bows hurriedly and fast-walks over to place a deck in front of Monkey's cushion then whispers, "We'll settle up after class."

"If he has no money, it's no problem. Let's not have money get in the way of an emerging consciousness," The Master says opening his arms wide, "and a new consciousness is emerging. For too long we've been shackled by society, forced to hide behind these 'identities' we've been given. But no longer. Here we learn to unlearn. We unburden ourselves from the horrors of our past by shedding the remnants of a dying society, by opening ourselves to mother earth, feeling her breath on our skin as we remove our clothes and expose our true bodies to the world."

Monkey looks as the parishioners remove their robes and stand up naked. Monkey only has his tiger striped pants and red sash. He stands but doesn't take them off. Everyone sits down and Monkey sits as The Master continues, "Now we don't just unburden ourselves with our worldly possessions. We also unburden ourselves with our pasts. Who here among us wants to offer up a story to the group and have it consumed in the fire of our collective consciousness?"

Savannah's hand shoots up and everyone turns to look. The Master winces then says, "Savannah again. Ok Savannah what do you have to tell us?"

"I just wanted to say that I'm so thankful to be here among all of you," she says looking around and smiling at everyone, "and also I'm so thankful for thanking." She bows when she says this last part, "and I just wanted to say that before I came here I had a family that made me feel ashamed about who I was. They made me feel bad for not doing well in school and in making a lot of BAD," she makes air quotes" choices like drinking and partying too much. ANYWAY, I thought a lot of bad things about myself. You know, like I called myself a slut and things like that but being here has taught me to embrace my true self," she says wrapping her arms around herself, "and now cause of you I know that I AM a slut and I'm not ashamed and it just feels so great to express myself with all of you, in that way."

"That's great Savannah," The Master says scanning his eyes across the crowd, "Does anyone else want to..."

"Oh and just one more thing," she says half raising her hand again, "I forgot to mention my grandma. I'm just so thankful that she's taking care of my kids while I'm here working on myself and doing a lot of processing and getting to know who I really am because without her I'd still be stuck in the patriarchy and it just feels so good to relinquish that burden and be free to do the work I need to do, and yeah, so I just wanted to thank the universe for providing that path for me as I continue my journey."

"Thank you Savannah," The Master says bowing.

"And you know she's just such an amazing woman. My grandma. She worked in a chicken plant so my mom could go to college and my mom became a doctor and did really well and then she died when I was sixteen which was hard and I'm still doing a lot of processing about THAT and then my grandpa died and he worked a lot too, you know, in the patriarchy, and he used to take me to see movies on Sundays after church and I always remember he'd wear this blue checked shirt cause he was real conservative, like he watched FOX news and stuff but I loved him anyway cause he's my grandpa, do you know what I mean?"

"Yes. I think we all know what you mean Savannah. Thank you for unburdening yourself."

"I just...I just..." and in her stutter she starts to feel something. "I just always felt like there was something wrong with me. Even from a young age I was looking for this thing, you know, that I could fix and every time I tried to do right I'd fail and I'd try to change," tears start welling, "I really would. I'd sit there and say to myself, Savannah," her voice cracks, "you're gonna figure this out and it's like every time I think I have a hold of somethin' it just disappears you know?" She pulls the tears back, wipes her eyes with her bare arm. "Like you're so SURE you've got it and you're being good and then you take your eyes away for one second and it's gone. You're just holding onto nothin'. You know what I mean?"

The Master picks his pipe up of the ceremonial pipe stand, lights it and takes a few puffs. "Thank you for that Savannah. I think you've given all of us something to think about." He puffs a few more puffs. "Why don't we all bow our heads and chant as Savannah comes up to receive the blessing. "Savannah?" he says raising his hand, his palm facing toward himself, beckoning.

As she jumps off her pillow everyone bows their heads and starts chanting in a strange language. Savannah stands naked before The Master hands clasped, eyes teary and closed as the chanting gets louder and someone starts banging a gong sending waves reverberating through the room. A few people caught up in the spirit stand, raise their hands, do a little dance on their cushion like they're caressing the air over and over. Savannah also starts to dance though she's suddenly shy and all she can manage is to sway back and forth, the only dance move she's ever learned. The Master makes sure everyone is deep in the trance of their enlightenment then in a flash of bright blue light transforms into his true form.

A monstrous sweaty pig
with stiff black hairs
growing from his back
his snout wrinkly and old
small dark eyes
peer out among folds of flesh
giant wet tusks
gleam in the light
as Pig opens his mouth
exposing his bulbous purple tongue
and the blackness of his throat
envelopes the girl
as his jaws snap shut
swallowing her
Whole

Monkey jumps to his feet, pulls the needle behind his ear and grows it into his gold banded cudgel.

"Demon pig! How dare you eat that girl!"

"I eat who I want!" Pig yells reaching toward the altar in front of him, a beautiful display of red, purple, green and white flowers laid out with careful intention. A long wood pole in the middle juts out painted in a swirly pattern that reaches up to heaven. He grabs the pole, lifts his nine pronged rake, the sharp teeth hidden underneath the petals, and leaps in the air, lands on the giant wooden beam in the arched ceiling of The Great Lodge. "You're not the only one with magic powers you ugly macaw," Pig shouts as he blows on his rake and the prongs turn red, waves it around, says some magic words and a cascading shower of complex geometry falls onto the succulents and crystals below.

The glowing crystals embed themselves in the succulent vines that shoot out lashing at his fur wrapping around his cudgel. Monkey fends them off as Pig whirls his rake around, the prongs turning pink and the bodies of all the naked followers glow with the same strange light as they stand and swarm Monkey gnashing at his fur, biting anything they can fit in their mouths.

Overwhelmed by the flopping boobs, armpits, legs and elbows flailing and stinking and clawing, Monkey grabs the people by their necks and pops off their heads, throws them at Pig all the while cursing and screaming, "You dirty pig! I'm going to rip you apart when I get a hold of you!"

"Demon Monkey!" Pig yells back swatting the heads with his nine pronged rake, a few embedding on his prongs. Running out of things to throw Monkey leaps up as Pig dives down, opens his mouth and swallows him in one bite. Monkey, in the blackness of Pig's stomach, starts ripping and tearing it apart, yelling and cursing as Pig rolls around on the floor smashing the decapitated bodies with his belly, crying and begging him to stop.

"How many people have you eaten? How many will I find in here?"

"Please, brother Monkey," Pig begs, "I only ate a few."

Monkey stops then shouts, "Open up. I'm coming out."

Pig opens his mouth and Monkey leaps out, turns just in time for Pig to bring his nine pronged rake down on his head. The floor cracks open and Monkey is pushed deep into the ground, quickly makes a spell with his fingers while saying the magic words and turns himself into a star-nosed mole that digs through the earth tearing up the foundation. Pig furiously smashes with his rake as the trail of cracks forms around him. As the ground crumbles Monkey pops up, turns back into this true form, grabs one of the massive wood pillars of the Great Lodge, rips it out of its metal casing and uses it as a club to bring down on Pig who's flattened underneath as the entire building collapses leaving a pile of rubble with dying succulents, arms and legs and the occasional shard of pink crystal sticking out.

A brief moment of silence before Monkey and Pig emerge, teeth-gnashing, eyes inflamed, hands ready to mangle, reaching for each other's throat. Pig lands on top and with his enormous size pushes him to the ground, but Monkey wriggles free, grabs hold of his tusks, pries open his mouth and shoves the rocks and wood planks, arms and legs, anything he can grab with his little monkey hands. Pig squeals, tries to wrestle away but Monkey's got him by the tusks and won't let go as he shoves the last stone and finger and shattered ceramic pot then leaps into the air and comes down hard on his belly, jumping up and down as Pig shrieks.

"Have you had your fill, you greedy idiot?!"

"I give up!" Pig says dropping his rake. Monkey stops jumping but remains standing on his belly.

"I'd have killed you five times if I didn't need your help."

"What do you need my help for?" Pig says panting, "I'm an old pig now. Why don't you let me enjoy myself and live out a well-deserved retirement?"

"You're eating people again!"

"Like you've never eaten anyone," Pig says rolling himself to his side as Monkey hops off. "Besides, I only ate a few." He surveys the damage. "You just killed a seventy-three people. Look at this place. Who are you to lecture?"

Pig changes back to his true form and this is what Monkey sees,

Bare pig feet
splayed up to heaven
a man's body
shoved in blue jeans
with a giant pink belly
heaving with sighs
a white t-shirt stretched to
translucence
and on top of all of it
a hideous hog head
wet and smeared with dirt

"Get up," Monkey instructs as he walks over to the rake and tosses it. Pig lets it fall on top of him and roll to the side. He lies there staring up at the sky then slowly, painfully, picks up the rake, lifts himself leaning heavily on the handle and says, "I'm not an immortal like you. I've just gotten fatter, stupider and lazier."

"I know," Monkey says, "But I can't do this without you."

"What's so god damn important that it's worth all of this?" Pig asks getting to his feet.

"I'll explain on the way," Monkey says hopping on his summersault-cloud. Pig pulls his way up as Monkey scans through his sleek gold rectangle.

"What're you doing?"

Monkey pays no attention and finally settles on "Back in Black" as the music blares and the cloud lifts in the air.

"This is America," he says as the guitar counts off the rhythm, "Everything important is done to music."